If I were Mark Zuckerberg, here’s how I’d fix the metaverse

Hopefully, by now you’ve heard about Facebook changing its name to Meta and all of Mark Zuckerberg’s wondrous plans to welcome us, squealing and clicking our heels, into the augmented reality of the metaverse. But hold on. In case you didn’t also see the memes, there are just a few problems facing Mark and his dreams of kickin’ it with friends in his virtual home, eating virtual Sweet Baby Ray’s. What are some of those problems and are they fixable? Only time will tell, but here’s how I would fix the metaverse if I were Mark Zuckerberg…

What is the metaverse?

First thing’s first: what even the heck is the metaverse? I think an important thing to note is that Meta, the new Facebook, is not the same thing as the metaverse, itself. While everything that Mark Zuckerberg described in his hour-long (!) presentation about Meta was very gossip-worthy and probably introductory to the majority of people, some of us in the crypto world have not only known about but have been using the metaverse already. 

A virtual world with everything

The metaverse as Meta envisions it uses VR headsets from Oculus, which Facebook acquired in 2014, and has virtual everything. It’s like a replacement world with digital versions of you-name-it. There are offices, homes, social events, shops, gaming, fitness, and anything your heart desires. Except, of course, the physical dimension that we old-fashioned types describe as: irl. But here’s the first reason that Mark Zuckerberg gets it wrong and we need to fix the metaverse as everyone understands it—Meta doesn’t own the metaverse. No one does.

It’s decentralized, Mark!

The concept of the metaverse has been around in science fiction for decades. And the idea of virtual reality and augmented reality is something that just about every kid invents in their own mind at some point, even if they can’t make it happen with technology. Meta doesn’t have a monopoly on the idea, nor will it likely have a monopoly on the metaverse in practice. An interconnected world of augmented reality that intersects with real life is not owned by any one company. If the metaverse is everything in a new, digital world that has a meta meaning in the real world, it only follows that no one can own it because no one owns reality. 

Just like no one “owns” the internet, the metaverse as a new technology that we build collectively in society should, and likely will, be part of the decentralized infrastructure built on blockchain governed by DAOs, running protocols that are shaped by everyone with parts and pieces owned by individuals and companies.

Is this real life?

Another thing that put people off about Mark Zuckerberg’s metaverse presentation was how enthusiastic he was about throwing off the real world in favor of a virtual world. Escaping to it for relief and relaxation might sound fun to robot people, but most flesh and blood humans like their human experience, thank you very much. As Leena Norms puts it: why are you going to painstaking effort to recreate hands in the metaverse, Mark? We already have them for free!

Plus, at some point, I imagine we’ve all felt somewhat oppressed by our technologically shackled lives. Why else do people do social media fasts? Not only is the digital world mentally and physically draining, there are some things in reality that we just don’t want to give up, like human connection and touch. Don’t think you should drop your baby off at the metaverse if you want him to have healthy development. New technologies always face reluctance at first but dystopian novels have a point sometimes, you know?

How to fix the metaverse

Ok, now that we’ve covered how Mark Zuckerberg should fix the metaverse as a concept that he presents to people, there are some other, more specific things that I would like to bring to his and your attention.

Fix your PR problem

Dear Mr. Mark Zuckerberg and Meta: no one trusts you. That’s it. That’s the problem.

Despite all press being good press and the plethora of quality meme content that Mark Zuckerberg incites across the internet, he definitely has a PR problem. Facebook has been embroiled in many controversies over user privacy, censorship, and other kinds of nefarious practices. Not even the boomers who still use Facebook trust it. They may not know anything about digital security but even they’re paranoid about playing Farmville and getting their life savings stolen as a result.

Stop being Mark Zuckerberg

Until Mark manages to stop being himself and become a human person that’s likable and trustworthy, he has a problem. Like many billionaire CEOs who have way too much money for the average person to feel any sympathy for them, Mark often falls into the god-king trap of trying to remain at the pinnacle of his empire, further generating public dislike.

We all know you have a winning and warm personality, Mark, but did you really have to be the one making the Meta presentation like an unselfaware goob who doesn’t realize what “meta” means? Plus, by saying that you take responsibility for everything that happens on your platform, you are—shockingly—then responsible.

Stop invading everyone’s privacy

We’ve already covered how no one trusts Meta the company or Mark Zuckerberg the person, but let’s just take a moment of silence to acknowledge the fact that everyone is already paranoid about data privacy and Siri and Alexa listening to their conversations. What a fun idea for us to add cameras and sensors everywhere for everything to decimate any last fiber of privacy that we currently have. Hooray!

Make it less dystopian

Ready Player One was a cautionary tale, in case you hadn’t noticed. So was The Matrix. The idea that humans can live in an inorganic, digital or augmented reality and remain happy, healthy, and psychologically content is what every dystopian sci-fi story screams at us to watch out for. Like I mentioned earlier, humans have a visceral reaction to the idea that we can be reduced to digital representations of ourselves.

Remote meetings and video conferences we’re foisted on humanity in 2020 and Zoom fatigue hit a lot of people. We were not even living in virtual reality, but we found out that simply going to meetings on a laptop can wreck your happiness and contentment as an organic being. If you want to fix the metaverse, you need to make it more human.

Stop being a centralized company

If you really want to fix the metaverse, Mark Zuckerberg, make Meta a DAO. Tokenize everything, make it decentralized, and deescalate the anti-establishment nose-crinkle that most people who would actually want to use the metaverse direct at you. The people who are eager early adopters, like those who are currently playing around in augmented reality and on things like Decentraland, The Sandbox, and Axie Infinity generally don’t have big love for huge, looming corporations that are just trying to make a profit and keep their place in the plutocracy. Just a thought.  

Is there hope for Mark Zuckerberg?

There has been a range of responses to Facebook’s rebranding as Meta and our dear friend Mark Zuckerberg’s awe-inspiring metaverse presentation. From hooting laughter to eyerolls to anxiety at what we may be forced to use, as consumers, by our big tech overlords, most of the chatter around Meta has been rather skeptical. If Mark Zuckerberg wants to fix the metaverse—or at least his part in its rise to popular use, he should probably think a bit carefully about how to course-correct. I’m available for consulting if you need me, Mark.