Welcome to the latest edition of the Decentral Weekly Crypto News Wrap-Up, where Neil and Em review trending crypto news and try to answer the all-important question: “Is this a thing?”
At the Decentral Weekly Round-Up, we are used to discussing and debating the hottest cryptocurrency topics and news stories worldwide. However, there was a tragedy that struck the crypto world several days ago.
Unfortunately, Mr. Goxx has passed away. For those who don’t remember, we previously covered the crypto trading hamster Mr Goxx in past roundups. It was a short life, but it was an extraordinary life. I mean, try to think of more of a unique life than being the most famous cryptocurrency trading hamster in the world.
In today’s edition, we break down his achievements and celebrate his life, rather than his death. In honor of the passing of this fella, this week’s hashtag is #MrGoxxGoneTooSoon. Share your condolences and memories online @decentralpub on Twitter, and when you’re done mourning, check out the Uncensored Crypto podcast, as well.
But first, the news...
We will certainly be focusing on the late trading hamster, but there is some additional crypto news to discuss. An Omicron token has been soaring because it shares the same name as the new COVID variant, further proving that we really might be living in a simulation. The website describes the cryptocurrency as a “decentralized treasury protocol.” Ultimately, it didn’t end well.
Michael Saylor is a crypto billionaire and it was buying up Bitcoin that largely helped him get there. His data analytics firm, MicroStrategy, just bought $414 million more thanks to the recent dip in the crypto markets. Also, in other crypto news, NFTs are still blazing hot, on track for a record 2021.
Now, on to our tribute.
The achievements of Mr. Goxx
What to say about the trading hamster? The owners of Mr. Goxx suggested that the ultimate lesson was to never take life too seriously, even during a pandemic. His trades were based on a hamster wheel featuring 30 cryptocurrencies, and whether he subsequently went through a “buy” or “sell” tunnel.
Mr. Goxx wasn’t afraid of the spotlight, either. He was racking up Twitch followers quicker than many of his human competitors, and did it with style, grace, and elegance. He was a crypto influencer with tens of thousands of followers who made international headlines. The trading hamster was able to raise his owners more money through NFT sales, as well.
As of his death, his portfolio was up almost 20%. He was even on CNBC, and Elon Musk was a fan. How many people can say that they impressed a billionaire? He was also a budding entrepreneur, selling merchandise like T-shirts, hoodies, mugs, and more.
Will Mr. Goxx’s legacy live on?
What did we learn? Was our furry finance guru a victim of a Black Friday Bitcoin selloff? Even if he had a killer office, was it the stress of trading that ended up taking him away from us so early? What does his death mean for the future of crypto markets? Why didn’t he invest in Solana?
Some critics might suggest that the existence of Mr. Goxx is somehow proof that cryptocurrency is a scam. If we are being honest, there are hamsters, monkeys, and animals of all kinds that could end up building out a portfolio if they picked stocks at random. And yet, it seems like the cryptocurrency sector ends up getting most of the hatred. Mr. Goxx was able to make profits even if he wasn’t big on research. Who can hate on that?
Is it ridiculous that a hamster can trade better than you, or is it endearing and inspiring? Should you be buying a hamster and setting up a trading room for it ASAP? When your wife finds out you’re doing this, will she divorce you, or drive you to a psych hospital? Maybe. The answer is maybe, or both.
Neil and Em pay tribute to the legend
It wouldn’t be a tribute if I didn’t ask Em for her thoughts on the subject. We normally offer differing takes on crypto news headlines, but this time I asked her to elaborate on what Mr. Goxx represented, and how he should be remembered.
Neil says:
Jokes aside – I think there’s something to be said for “feel good” stories, and a trading hamster was a nice way for the crypto community to have a laugh. Do we need a zoo full of animals doing random crypto trades? No, but I wouldn’t be mad at seeing another hamster step up and take the helm of Goxx Capital. It’s what Mr. Goxx would’ve wanted.
Em says:
We will all miss him. He was a hamster among men—a hero to the trading community and a beacon of hope to all furry animals who aspire to fame and fortune. It’s a true heartbreak that he’s gone so soon, before he had the chance to reach his full potential. Just a few more market cycles and I’m confident this valiant hamster would have surpassed Elon in his whale status and cultural prowess. RIP Mr. Goxx.
Bottom line:
Both Neil and Em agree this is a sad news.
Pay your respects to Mr. Goxx Twitter using the hashtag #MrGoxxGoneTooSoon and tag @decentralpub. Your comment could be featured in an upcoming article.
Farewell, old friend - the crypto news will be less fun without you
For you true crime fans and Reddit detectives: stand down. There’s no case to solve here, because Mr. Goxx passed away thanks to natural causes. The owners admitted that the trading hamster had some kidney issues early on, but that he showed “no signs of serious illness.” Mr. Goxx began refusing to eat on Sunday, and fell asleep Monday.
He may not have stuck around for Bitcoin to hit $100K…but who knows? Maybe there will be another Mr. Goxx to take his place by that time. His two owners may have started Goxx Capital as a lighthearted side project, but don’t be surprised if the project re-emerges once again. While they are clearly taking the time to grieve; it doesn’t mean that a new trading hamster won’t eventually take his place.
Meme of the week
Sadly, here’s your beloved meme of the week from our very own Em.
Goodbye, Mr. Goxx. We hope hamster heaven is treating you well. We will be back next week with our December 10th Decentral Weekly Wrap-Up. Until then!
