Flex-worthy moments for every crypto investor

Listen, unless your name is Satoshi Nakamoto (which it isn’t), then don’t be lyin’. Every crypto investor got in, at least on some level, for the gains. For the street cred, the clout, the flexing opportunities that it brings about when you’re “that one friend who bought a car with Doge profits.” Who of us actually wanted to revolutionize the monetary system and didn’t just pay attention when there was an altcoin bull market? Ok, maybe a few, but let’s be real about the percentages. And anyway, even if you are in it on principle and for cypherpunk philosophy…if the rising tide lifts all ships, are you telling me you’re just going to NOT FLEX on everyone who didn’t get in on the ground floor? Please! 

Here are some of the top flex-worthy moments that all every crypto investor can aspire to.

The ramen-to-riches flex

Back in college, when you were a lowly student subsisting on a diet of ramen and microwave oatmeal, you did the wise and future-looking thing and rolled your student aid into Bitcoin in 2010 after poking around on the dark web and discovering how crypto currency would change the world. At the time, when your parents found out what you’d done because you hit them up for grocery money, it didn’t feel like a flex. But then, lots of innovators did things that were sure to fail. Now you’re a billionaire. Flex. Ok chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re not an early Bitcoin billionaire. Don’t worry, there are more opportunities to flex.

The gold-in-them-there-blockchains flex

When you were spending half your free time at Micro Center anyway, you bought up a bunch of computer parts and made several Bitcoin mining rigs. This was back when mining was easy and before GPU prices had gone out of control. You managed to accumulate a ton of Bitcoins but every time your friends came over they gave your nerdy computer room the side-eye. It was all worth it though because now, everyone and their dog likes to reminisce about that awesome mining setup you had because…now you’re a billionaire. Flex. Oh, that’s not your story either? Don’t worry.

The next-big-crypto-coin flex

Back in 2015 when you first saw chatter on Reddit that Ethererum was going to be the next big cryptocurrency because of all the new and wonderful things it was trying to do, you had your moment of skepticism. 

Lots of people still weren’t sure if Bitcoin was really going to be something to stick around. But soon, people outside of crypto forums were talking about smart contracts and the potential they had to revolutionize copyright licensing and a million other things that weren’t fake internet money. You bought into ETH bigtime. The smart contract bull market hit and now you’re a millionaire. Let’s be honest, you heard all that didn’t you…but this isn’t your crypto investor flex story. 

Don’t worry, we’re not done.

The Doge-to-the-moon flex

Everything was for the lolz back then. Ok, you got me: everything is still for the lolz now. But in the golden age of so money, very coins, much rich, wow! You laughed your ass off when you read about Dogecoin and how it was a literal meme. 

We all did. But you bit. And living your life for the lolz paid off. 

We won’t ask about all the other things you bought as a joke, flushing money down the toilet, because none of those matter now that you and Elon Musk are sitting pretty on your stack of Doge millions. Flex. 

The you-can-too-copy-them flex

“What? How can you not copy NFTs? You can literally just copy them, they’re .jpgs,” is what every troll on the internet said when they first started buzzing about NFTs. You, however, in your wisdom, could see through the smoke and mirrors that NFTs were both valid technology and somewhat ridiculous at the same time. Bubble or no, you got yourself a free CryptoPunk when it was airdropped to you. You also rode the wave with Bored Apes, Mutant Apes, and sundry animal avatars. The NFT bull market hit and now you’re a millionaire. And every influencer and brand that’s *ahem* aping into NFTs is eating your dust. Flex. 

The bring-down-banking flex

One of the main reasons crypto became a thing was to upend the monetary system. Bitcoin, from the cradle, longed to chase fiat right out of house and home. But it’s been a real journey on the path to that dream. You, however, never let it out of your sight. So, when DeFi summer hit hard in 2020, you were ready. You saw that DEXs and DeFi tools were filling a huge need for crypto investors. You knew yield farming and liquidity pools were going to get everyone those mad gains and positioned yourself to scoop up the APY returns. Not only that, you bought into all the platforms and now you’re a millionaire. Flex.

The rebuild-the-internet flex

Even if people don’t understand exactly how Web3 is structurally different from Web2, they see, intuitively, why it’s necessary. When people and websites get booted off the internet, YouTube upsets creators with every adpocalypse, and outages can down Facebook for a day and wreck billions of dollars of online revenue, people know there’s a problem. But you didn’t just suspect it, you actually thought about it, understood it, and took action. That’s why you set yourself up nicely in Filecoin, Areweave, Handshake, NEAR, and every other Web3 related investment you could see helping to rebuild the internet. The altcoin bull market hit and now you’re a millionaire. Flex.

The see-you-in-the-metaverse flex

Before Zucc’s ghostly white face appeared on all of our internet-box-screen-thingys to speak to us about the future and Meta, the metaverse had never crossed most people’s lips. Who of your friends was talking about virtual offices, buying virtual land, or linking physical things to augmented reality? 

Probably very few. You, on the other hand, looked into your crystal ball and saw everything. 

You bought into Decentraland, Render, The Sandbox, Enjin, and everything metaverse related. One major tech company rebranding announcement later, you’re a millionaire. Flex. Plus, you’ve not even seen the top of your returns for metaverse investments since we’re just getting started. 

It led you into your next incredible crypto investor move: gaming.

The play-to-earn flex

It was inevitable that the crypto world would eventually dovetail with the gaming industry. After all, gamers and crypto enthusiasts both love the internet. They love shaking up culture and changing career trajectories for the youths. 

You, the savvy crypto investor, knew this. 

And before Axie Infinity and other play-to-earn (P2E) games started making life changing money for people around the world, you’d gotten yourself prepared. Having a decent understanding of how the gaming industry could benefit and level-up by integrating NFTs and P2E, you knew even Ubisoft wouldn’t be able to look away. So you created a P2E portfolio, the bull market hit, and now you’re a millionaire. Flex.

Summary

I highly doubt there are many, if any, crypto investors in the world who can claim every one of those flexes. In fact, most people only need one and a bull market cycle and they’re golden. The crypto ecosystem has grown so large and has its influence in so many tech spaces that it’s almost hard to see where you couldn’t come out with a flex at some point or another. And, at every stage along the way, people said, “It’s too late, I’ve missed the opportunity.” The thing that those people forget is that, in forward progress, there’s always a new opportunity. There are a million plays in crypto that will get you that massive flex. These are just a few. All you have to do is keep your eyes open and have some vision. You can still get that lambo. Just pay attention, be forward thinking, grow some brass balls, and make some money.