Crypto history…but with memes!

Honestly, why does anyone do or read anything without memes? You could take a perfectly normal, informative topic and read about it while snoring and gouging your eyes out or…you could add memes! You could read the crypto history article that some serious, crusty, boring person wrote or you could get the basic overview with memes and chortle over your morning coffee. It’s good for your health and it will help you remember the important and relevant facts. So, let’s review a timeline of the history of cryptocurrency. Maybe you know some of this already, maybe you don’t—regardless, memes make things worth your time. 

1975 — cryptography or bust

Back before the internet and memes *sigh* there was literally nothing to do but work on cryptography. Public key cryptography was an innovation that Whitfield Diffie and Martin Hellman pioneered and which laid the groundwork for Bitcoin.

1989 — you can’t just copy money

One of the reasons digital currency hadn’t been viable until eCash was because you could easily copy digital money. David Chaum solved the double-spend problem…though some thought he never solved the double-ego problem.

1992 — rebel cypherpunks

While everyone was depressed, waiting for the internet to be invented, not much happened in crypto history. But by the early 90s, the cypherpunks had a renegade attitude toward government and central power. If they were young when we were young, they would have been memesters.

1997 — spam…but the bad kind

Proof-of-work and hashing took the next step toward cryptocurrency because it gave digital transactions a real-world cost. This is probably one of the reasons memes are so important today: to get something in everyone’s inbox, it has to be viral, not just spammed.

2008 — GFC, not BFG

The fun and cool housing bubble in 2008 that caused the GFC might have been a big PITA for normies. But, of course, it was a big, not-so-friendly giant that blew the doors clean off the status quo, leaving a big hole for cryptocurrency to cryp-walk right into the void.

2009 — our lord and savior Bitcoin 

Finally, finally, Bitcoin descended on the planet like a Kermit of light and love. Soon, you didn’t have to scroll far in any direction to encounter Bitcoin, which, in addition to revolutionizing global finance, has also been a wellspring of quality meme content.

2011 — altcoins Kool-Aid-Man onto the scene

Bitcoin was becoming a solid concept in people’s minds and, of course, when something works well, others want to try their hand at it too. Early altcoins like Litecoin and Namecoin burst their way onto the scene, beginning the tidal wave of alts.

2012 — the halvening

To keep scarcity and maintain Bitcoin’s value, roughly every four years, the block mining rewards are cut in half. At the first halvening, the reward went from 50 to 25 BTC and every halving since has achieved its purpose of driving up the price.

2013 — no more Silk Road

Playing around on the dark web was all fun and games for millennials who grew up during the golden age of the internet, hacking and dodging the law with abandon in the 2000s. But when you create a black market worth more than $1b, you don’t pass go, don’t collect $200.

2013 — Bitcoin hits $100

Breaking three digits was huge for cryptocurrency. In just four years, Bitcoin had gone from being a hilarious meme of fake internet money to actually being worth something. If you bought in early enough, you’d have been mega rich. And yet, people still didn’t think it would skyrocket far beyond $100. Lol.

2013 — the meme of all memes

The creation of Dogecoin sealed the fate of memery and shenanigans in the crypto world. Throughout crypto history, this is probably one of the most important events! Not only because it’s some top-shelf lolz, but because it gained so much traction in the culture. The king of all memecoins is still kicking today and no one has gotten that last laugh yet—thank god. 

2013 — hodl my beer

As one does in a drunken state of belligerence, GameKyuubi logged on to the trusty internet and declared his determination to hodl Bitcoin against the crowd! Nevermind the typo, holding cryptocurrency is now forever part of the lexicon as “hodling.” And the memelords wouldn’t have it any other way.

2014 — your money is safe with Mt. Gox…

Don’t worry, everyone. Just because cryptocurrency was created to increase security and reduce trust doesn’t mean you shouldn’t leave it in the custody of a centralized company. At least, that’s what a lot of people thought before their money was hacked out of the Mt. Gox exchange.

2016 — Ethereum, yeah right

Whoooooooooo thought Ethereum was going to be anything useful? Smdh. Ok, a lot of people did. But what are they, wizards? I admit smart contracts were a very smart idea. And they filled a need in crypto and tech at large. So what? Nothing will ever be Bitcoin…or will it?

2018 — bear market drops a deuce

Bitcoin was on the up-and-up for quite a while—almost a decade. Certainly it had been volatile the entire time, but the crash in 2018 really scared a lot of people out of the market. Meanwhile, “crazy” people were out here buying the f*cking dip like kings and hodling into the inevitable bull cycle.  

2018 — institutional suckers investors

All through crypto history, #TrueBelievers had faith that Bitcoin and cryptocurrency in general would change the financial world. When institutions and companies actually started aping in, it was both a told-you-so and and an *eyeroll* moment, but here we are.

2020 — DeFi summer

Everyone was really excited about DeFi summer blowing up, as well they should have been. Because, of course, liquidity pools and yield farming are pretty fun. But guys…wasn’t Bitcoin DeFi all along? I mean, that’s the whole idea! 

2021 — El Salvador takes the plunge

The first country to adopt Bitcoin as legal tender, El Salvador made big news in the summer of 2021. President Nayib Bukele drew both praise and criticism, but if crypto history has taught us anything—early adopters get theirs. 

2021 — fake internet money is worth $3t

This deep into crypto history, it’s hard to be shocked or surprised when things continue on an upward trend. Even if markets are volatile (as they are expected to be), the ecosystem and tech evolution keeps outperforming expectations. Cryptocurrency said: $3 trillion market cap.

2021 — all-time-high is 69… need I say more?

What better note to end on than a Bitcoin all-time-high of $69,000. Of all the apropos, meme-worthy high notes, 69 is hard to beat. Keep on memeing and hodling, my friends!

Conclusion

Through crypto history, I think two important themes have revealed themselves. 1) cryptocurrency can hold its own and 2) memes don’t quit. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what else you could ask for. What a time to be alive, folks.